Tips to Control Nervousness

Adapted from wilder presentations

One of the secrets of becoming a dynamic public speaker is to use your nervousness for energy. While some will advise strategies to reduce your nervousness, I think you can use it to your advantage.

An extra spurt of adrenaline (also known as the rush), your heart beating faster, those knots in your stomach, more rapid breathing-that's excitement, not nervousness. Redefine your physical sensations. You would feel all those things during a passionate kiss with your lover or in the middle of that holiday you've always wanted. All great performers, great actors, great athletes, and great public speakers experience nervousness, and it is one of the characteristics that helps make them great.

The times I haven't been nervous were the times I was flat and uninspiring. I'd rather be nervous. The answer lies in learning how to control the nervousness, not eliminate it. These six tips might help.

(1) Make eye contact

Making eye contact with your audience is invaluable because once you are able to look into the eyes of your listeners, you are then taking the first step in being conversational with your audience. Many people are under the mistaken belief that when they stand at the lectern, on the podium or at the boardroom table, they should be someone other than who they are. That is wrong. The person you are in your office, in your home, in a social situation or a business setting, is the person that should be giving that speech or that presentation. Don't try to be someone you're not. You are fine as you are.

Yet, inexperienced presenters, and some experienced ones, often have difficulty actually looking at their audience.

This may partly be due to nerves (If I pretend they're not there, I won't be nervous)or if staring at notes and slides, it may be a sign of inadequate preparation.

Some presenters rarely look at anyone for longer than one second, instead spending most of the time looking at the slide and talking to it. This is especially true when there are many diagrams and charts to explain. Rather than point to the information and look at the audience, the presenter points at the information on the screen and looks at it while talking.

But if we are there to talk, we should talk to someone.

(2) Make real eye contact

I guarantee that when you look at each person in the audience for the count of 3, you will look twice as confident. You'll actually appear to know your subject and want to share it with your audience. This is one of the most important skills of professional presenters. You may think you already do this, but it's doubtful.

How do you find out whether you maintain eye contact? The next time you give a talk, ask a colleague in the audience to time how long you look at a person. The colleague counts 1-2-3 and observes whether you look at any one person for the count of 3. Then your colleague gives you the feedback after the session.

To be a successful presenter, you must actually talk to a person, not just speak. You can train yourself by practicing with two colleagues. Talk to each one. He or she will give you a nod when you have talked for the count of 1-2-3 while really looking at them for the whole time. Darting eyes back and forth like a hungry iguana do not count. You will improve your poise and presence in front of an audience by 100% when you start to speak to each person.

With a large audience of 80 or more, it is the same. Pick one person to speak to at a time. All the people around that person will experience you speaking to them.

(3) Focus on smilers

When you make eye contact, you'll notice that you have smilers. Every audience has them. So the next step is to focus on those smilers: they make you feel good, they bolster your confidence. And, because they are smiling, you will think they are in agreement with you, again, bolstering your confidence, another means for you to take control of that nervousness. The smilers will be located throughout your audience so when you zero in on the person smiling on your left for example, everyone in that area will think you are looking them.

(4) Remember the whole audience

You will probably have people on your left, in the center, and to your right. Do not focus just on one section. Move your gaze from the left to the center and to the right. But slowly and not always at the same rate. You are not a radar tower. If you scan your audience with brief eye contact, it will be obvious you are just spitting out words-and not communicating.

(5) Prepare for your sleepers

Just as every audience has its smilers, so too, every audience has a sleeper or two. Sleepers may tell you that they listen with their eyes closed. That is fine. But truly you may have someone sound asleep. You may be embarrassed, thinking you are terribly boring. (It's worse if the sleeper is a snorer) but an occasional sleeper is okay! If, on the other hand, your entire audience is asleep, or leaves, you probably should change jobs.

(6) Be grateful for the opportunity

Public speaking is a thrilling means of communicating. You may be giving a persuasive presentation, you may be talking about a harrowing experience, you may be there as the after-dinner entertainment. Whatever your reason to stand and speak in front of others, remember that when you learn to talk TO your audience and not AT them, you are then acknowledging that audience. By acknowledging them, you become more personal, more intimate, and treat them as if you were having a conversation in your living room.

That is when you know you've become a dynamic public speaker.